I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
