Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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