there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
