You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
