i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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