She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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