The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
