I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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