Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
