I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
