Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
