you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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