why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
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