; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
