I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Randomize
