dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
