so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Randomize
