girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
