I smell stomach acid.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
