i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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