McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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