i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
