What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
