margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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