When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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