your parents love me but you hate me
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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