She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The beer is more important than you right now.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
