oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
