I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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