carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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