im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
