I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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