His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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