Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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