At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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