I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
