Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
