I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This is classic penis vs brain.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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