I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
