the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
