the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
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