i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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