I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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