Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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