Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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