fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
