when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
