i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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