Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
