none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
