i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
