Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
