i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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