some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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