What a fucking waste of an outfit
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
