i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
