do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
