he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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