in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
