Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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