I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize