grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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