anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
