Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
3 2 1 whiskey
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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