I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
