Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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