You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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