bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
