i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize