he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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