is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
