well most of my day revolves around power hour
You know, be my cock's hype man.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
